The 60s to My 60s

 

This page began with a lot of ranting while I was still living in NYC. There was plenty to rant about there and after 40 years I had had enough!

I am now living in the suburbs of Melbourne, Australia. I have been here for very nearly 3 years in 3 different houses in 3 different burbs. I have certainly accumulated a few rants during that time.  Although the US and Australia are very similar (especially in suburbia) most of my rants have had to do with just getting used to how things are done, said and pronounced down under…so, for now, I’ll let them go.

Australian’s it seems are sports-obsessed and the seasons never come to an end. The fact that those sports are impossible to understand for Americans is another thing entirely.
Footy? Australian Rules Rugby? Cricket? Net Ball? What are these things? and why do the seasons never end?

I hate sports (for the most part) it just screws up TV. There is nothing to watch BUT sports at least 4 days a week. Even the news begins and ends with sports. People can legally bet on sports (and anything else) here. AND they have declared a Footy Championship game day a National Holiday! And a horse race– also a National Holiday. What?

TV is a mess. At least the only channel I can get is a mess. Reruns of old British mysteries and sitcoms all-day (and night) unless there are sports to be watched. Humor is almost non-existant, possums!

Will someone please tell SHAMUS and ANDY that they are NOT funny!

 

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It seems that every day I encounter something or someone that just makes no sense to me. At 60-something I am finding that there are more things I don’t understand than things I do.

I guess I always thought that wouldn’t be the case.      I was wrong.

I also always thought that I would grow up someday.  Wrong about that, too.

Maybe it’s just me, but I seem to have been wrong a lot…

Also, I’m pretty sure I have grown down in the last few years; or, on the best of days, stayed pretty much the same. Is that normal?

That magical day I expected when I would wake up and everything would become clear to me, just never happened.

Oh; I have had my moments, but they were fleeting at best.

So; I have decided to write down the things that piss me off. No one will care …but at least I will be able to remember them tomorrow.  sort of.

I read somewhere the other day that we can scream about things that are wrong all we want and as loud as we can, but no one will hear us or even care. In fact some people wont even think those things are wrong.

Probably the republicans. The republicans piss me off. I didn’t need to write that down to remember it but I did anyway.

You know what else pisses me off?

Banks, bankers, politicians, commercials on TV, the subway, assholes on cell phones, assholes not on cell phones, people who just don’t seem to be aware that they are not the only person(s) in the world. obliviousness, sober people, a lot words piss me off, too.  ‘Vet’ as a verb, for example. That’s not a fucking word!…the list just gets longer and longer. It seems so many things piss me off lately that I often forget to be happy.

That pisses me off too. (just for the record).

NEGOTIATING IN THE CITY

I just don’t get it…maybe it’s just  me

I’m standing on the corner with a rather large number of people waiting for the light to change. The little man says WALK. And suddenly I find we are in negotiations with dozens of cars, buses, trucks, taxis and so on who want to turn this corner…NOW.  As I understand it, the little man said WALK, not DRIVE. So why am I  being forced to put my life on the line to do just what the little man told me to do –WALK!!!

This makes no sense to me. Perhaps the sign should say “PREPARE TO DODGE TRAFFIC”?  Which I could have done without waiting for the light. OR…maybe; just MAYBE the damn light should be staggered so walkers can walk and turners can turn and nobody dies.

I have no idea what the statistics are…maybe no one has ever been hit and died attempting to cross the street with the light (except for that one guy I saw lying in a pool of blood while the other drivers tried to dodge him on 7th Avenue –and to be perfectly honest; I don’t think he was dead).

It just seems like an unnecessary aggravation in an already aggravating day in a most irritating city. Surely there is some way to avoid this besides never going outside.

And, while we are on the subject, people are equally obtuse and inconsiderate. Every day after work a stream of humanity swarms down 7th Avenue towards Penn Station, while an equal number of  pedestrians are swarming up one of the side streets attempting to cross 7th Avenue. Both groups flatly refuse to yield the right of way!! Really, do we need traffic cops or crossing guards on the sidewalks?!!

Come on people…slow the fuck down!

I just don’t get it.

Apparently it’s not a new problem. I just ran into this online…Chevy Chase in 1969

MORE NEGOTIATING …

It seems in NYC (and perhaps elsewhere as well, I don’t know) everything seems to be a negotiation. At the subway turnstile some folks are going in some are going out–both are attempting to use the same “slot”. Is this absolutely necessary? I know we Americans don’t like to have rules thrust upon us at ‘any’ juncture. but would it really be so bad to have one less decision in our lives. out is this door…in is that door.

And speaking of rules…”keep to the right on the stairs” seems to be waaaay too difficult for people to grasp. We drive on the right side, walk on the right side, turn right on red…why is it so difficult? If you can touch the handrail with your right hand (without reaching across your chest); you are doing it correctly. It doesn’t seem that confusing.

Maybe it just me…

Oh, and by the way,  the top of the subway stairs is NOT the place to stop and read your email or text your friend that you have reached the top stair and are that much closer to getting to where they are. Get the fuck out of the way! Clear the steps, pull over to the RIGHT and whip out that phone if you must but not at the top of the stairs – in either direction!

Do you really need to make that phone call, really?

Just because we CAN call someone from the subway, or the street, or the bus; doesn’t mean we MUST call someone or all of the cellphones will cease to work. Think of it this way: “If you had to use a pay phone, would you really need to make that call?”

I thought not.

See;  I have trouble believing when I hear someone gossiping with a friend on the cell phone while a subway car full of people listen in, that this call is of such enormous importance it couldn’t wait until you get home. Use your heads. What if I just felt so horny I just HAD to masterbate on the N train going home; would that be okay? Of course not…

it’s the same thing! to me.  I don’t want to see it or hear it.

And running to get the next train or bus without regard to whom you might kill in your reckless plunge up or down the stairs is both stupid and dangerous! As bad as the subway system can be,  there will eventually be another train. If you knock an old person down the stairs and break thier legs or hips or arms or…you will be a lot later than you bargained for.

It’s New York City—it doesn’t matter what time you get there. Everyone else is in the same boat, or bus, or train or taxi…just go with it.

and then there is the MTA.
Somehow they have managed to make sure that whenever we travel; weekdays, rush hours, off hours, weekends, we will still have an uncomfortable, miserable trip. Amazing.

We may have the oldest and largest subway system in the world but we certainly don’t have the best.  We do have announcements that tell us when the trains will be arriving that happen at about the same time you can see the next train arriving.

We have a computerized voice that lies to us about why were not moving …over and over again without even changing inflection. When a real(ish) person has to speak to clarify a situation; we are still unable to understand a word they say– either in the train or on the platform.

But the mosaics on the walls in Soho are surely beautiful!

The stations are miserably hot in summer and cold in winter and the trains seem to be following their own rules. My personal favorite is “ladies and gentlemen, In order to keep even spacing between trains, we are being held in the station.” No one has seen a train for hours. What is this concept of even spacing??

Almost every night between 5 and 5:30PM at the 34th street station, 2 or 3 Q trains go out of service and race by. When one finally does come, we are told the arriving N will leave first, then the arriving R and then that we are being held in the station to keep even spacing. What?

Maybe it’s just me.

But my really, really  favorite is when we are told that the Q train cannot run because of track problems, we should take the N, which runs on exactly the same track as the Q from 34th Street to Ditmars Avenue. Huh?

No one has ever been able to explain that one to me. I invite that explanation.

really…please.

But I really came here to tell a few stories, that friends have been urging me to write down for some time. They were probably lying…but you will find out soon enough.